“You don’t need another human being to make your life complete but lets be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul, but as cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.”—Emery Allen (via the-healing-nest)
should I worry about boys rn. I'm in gr11 never kissed a guy before, not that ugly lol but all my friends are close to making god damn babies. idk I feel like I don't have time for that :p
Well Anon, I would say no, you don’t have to worry about boys right now. In fact, you should never have to worry about boys. I do understand that it can be hard, frustrating, and annoying to be single when your friends are in relationships— especially if you want to experience one yourself. In your case, you don’t particularly have the sense of urgency for a relationship, and that’s fine. You say you don’t feel like you have time for a relationship— I don’t think most people do. However, we make time for the things that hold importance in our lives, whether it’s family, sports, TV shows, social networking, and… significant others.
I could rant on and on about this topic, but I won’t.
Keep on living your life and if a guy comes along that (generally) fits your (hopefully reasonable) standards, and shows genuine interest in you as a person, give him a chance. It doesn’t hurt to wait to date, but I think that with each boyfriend, you get more of an idea of what you look for in a potential spouse.
You're the best! I feel like you would be the perfect boyfriend since you are so understanding and encouraging. Hopefully you really are this nice in real life and not only on tumblr.
Ahh wow, thanks Anon. You flatter me, but I’m far perfect. I just try to help out those I can, and no, there’s really not much difference between me on tumblr versus off tumblr (other than being less vocal). I’ve gone through enough stuff in my life to not accept anyone for who they are and what they are going through. In some of my lowest points alive the people closest to me showed me unconditional positive regard, and knowing what that feels like, I simply want to offer that to others.
I don't know how to phrase this as a question, I guess I'd just like an opinion. I've been head over heels for friend of mine for a couple months and we just found out we both like. But I'm already insecure. She has life rolling along like a well oiled machine, and I've been in a rut for years. On top of that she is sort of wild. Likes to party with her friends, I'm introverted. We get along flawlessly one on one, but what do you think? Regardless, thanks for listening
Hey there Anon! I’m just going to assume that you meant to say, “we found out we both like each other” and answer accordingly.
You may have to ask yourself if you will be able to mix in with her life, and if she will mix in with your life. Now, don’t freak out about that too much. Naturally, when two people develop strong feelings for each other, they’ll be interested in joining each other in the things they like to do for fun. If you guys end up moving towards a relationship, she’ll want to do the things that you like to (that aren’t so social), and I would hope that you would give the things she likes to do (that are social) a shot. Try to ignore those thoughts of insecurity and hang out with her in her element; it sometimes helps to try and see things from her perspective and get a feel of why she enjoys it.
The fact that you both get along one on one is a good sign; you two have chemistry. You just have to decide if you want her to stick around enough to ask her to be your girlfriend. Who knows, she could turn out to be a really great support system to help you escape that rut you’re in.
A few years ago these girls really hurt me. They humiliated me. Some of my closest friends are close to those same girls. I feel like they don't have my back and I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable. Like I'm starting to question their loyalty. They never stood up for me ever. Should I fall back?
Well Anon, I have to admit that I am a little confused over the details. I am getting the vibe that there were the group of girls that humiliated you, and the group of girls (your friends) that didn’t stick up for you. If that is the case, I would say to let your friends know that you feel like you don’t have their full support, and you don’t want to feel that way. Naturally, they may be surprised that you would even feel that way and assure you that they do have your back. Another possibility is the one we don’t want—the reaction that shows that they truly don’t have your back. If that is the case, it may be time to reconsider them being your close friends. You don’t necessarily have to cut them off, but you may want to try hanging out with new people.
As for the girls that humiliated you, you don’t need to give them any more “power” by letting them continue to phase you. Find people who appreciate you for who you are and you’ll feel a lot better. If you think it’s a good idea, you could confront them about it, just to get it out of your system, but if not, try “having” that conversation with them in your room. Imagine them sitting there with you, tell them how you feel, and ask them why they felt they needed to do that. Then, take their position and answer for them. Keep switching back and forth until you feel like you are getting somewhere. If you try that and it does anything for you, I’ll be here to discuss it further.
HI so on my 21st birthday the other day I hooked up with my brother's friend that's 18 while we were really drunk. My brother is being weird about it but before he was totally fine with it because he knew that we were both into each other. Since it's happened, we got drunk again and kissed.I don't really know what to do because I don't want to jeopardize their friendship but it's not like we're dating?? I just wish my brother would be honest about it instead of telling us it was ok...
Maybe you could ask your brother exactly what’s bothering him. That would give you a solid reason and you can decide to change whatever you’re doing that’s bothering him, or tell him that you respect him but want to continue. He may have said it was okay because he thought that it was just a one-time occurrence, but since it happened again he’s probably just weirded out.